Life often presents us with moments that shake the very core of our existence, challenging our faith and testing the strength of our character. For me, such a moment came in 2021, a year marked by profound loss and deep personal struggle. The death of my father, a man with whom I had a complicated relationship, was a turning point. Though our bond was far from perfect, I loved him dearly, and his passing left a void in my life that I was ill-prepared to handle. Grief, like a relentless tide, swept over me, pulling me into a place of darkness and despair.
The weight of this grief became too much to bear, and I found myself spiraling into a state of emotional turmoil. The pain of losing my father, coupled with unresolved issues between us, caused me to lose sight of who I was and what I stood for. Relationships that once provided me with comfort and stability began to deteriorate. I pushed people away, lashing out in anger and frustration. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." In my grief, I failed to protect my heart, and as a result, I watched helplessly as the life I had known began to unravel.
Despite the turmoil, I knew deep down that I couldn’t allow my grief to define me or my actions. The Bible teaches us in Ephesians 4:31-32, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." My behavior had caused pain, not only to others but also to myself. I realized that I needed to seek forgiveness and begin the arduous process of rebuilding the relationships I had damaged. This was a difficult journey, but I held on to the hope that through God’s grace, healing and restoration were within reach.
The situation grew even more dire when I found myself homeless on the streets of Kingston.
The city that had once been my home became a place of uncertainty and fear. With nowhere to turn and no one to lean on, I was forced to confront the reality of my situation.
Yet, it was in this desolate place that I began to understand the depth of God’s love and His unwavering presence in my life.
Psalm 34:18 tells us, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." In the midst of my suffering, I felt God drawing near to me, offering comfort and strength when I needed it most.
As I grappled with homelessness, I was dealt another devastating blow—the death of Pastor Florence McElroy, my spiritual mother and greatest source of support. Pastor McElroy had been a guiding light in my life, offering both spiritual and financial assistance when I needed it most. Her passing felt like the final straw, and I found myself questioning how much more I could endure. But even in this moment of despair, God was teaching me to rely on Him completely. Isaiah 41:10 reassures us, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Though I had lost a significant earthly support, I was reminded that my ultimate source of strength comes from the Lord.
Faced with overwhelming challenges, I knew I had to make a choice: I could either allow the weight of my circumstances to crush me, or I could press into God, trusting Him to guide me through the storm. With nothing left to lose, I chose the latter. I made the difficult decision to leave Jamaica and migrate to the United States in pursuit of higher education—a decision that would test my faith in ways I had never anticipated. The journey was fraught with obstacles. Financial difficulties loomed large, as I was unable to work while attending school. The uncertainty of my situation weighed heavily on me, but I held onto the promise of Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
As I embarked on this new chapter of my life, I made a conscious decision to deepen my relationship with God.
I immersed myself in prayer, seeking His guidance and wisdom for every step I took.
I surrounded myself with Christ-centered activities on campus, finding solace and strength in the fellowship of other believers.
In the quiet moments of reflection, I was reminded of the words of Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." These words became a source of encouragement and a constant reminder that I was not alone in my journey.
Eighteen months have passed since I first set foot on the campus of Edward Waters University, and what a transformative journey it has been. Today, I stand as a testament to God’s faithfulness and the transformative power of His grace. I have had the privilege of serving as the Junior Class President, leading my peers with humility and a servant’s heart. As the President of the EWU Chorale, I have used my gift of music to glorify God and inspire others to worship Him in spirit and in truth. Through God’s favor, I have been honored with the President’s Award and the Male Academic Excellence Award in 2024—achievements that would have been impossible without His divine intervention.
But these accolades are not just symbols of success; they are a testament to the power of perseverance and faith. James 1:2-4 reminds us, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." The trials I faced were not meant to destroy me but to refine me, to shape me into the person God created me to be.
Through this journey, I have come to understand that struggle is not a destination but merely a route to success. The path may be difficult, and the challenges may seem insurmountable, but with God on our side, we can overcome anything. 1 Peter 5:10 assures us, "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." My story is a living testament to this truth—though I suffered, God has restored me, and I stand stronger, firmer, and more steadfast in my faith than ever before.
One of the most profound lessons I have learned is that mistakes do not define a man; he is defined by the actions he takes to better himself after he has stumbled. The Bible speaks to this in Proverbs 24:16, "For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again."
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Hallelujah Johnoy, so beautiful., so powerful. I couldn’t stop reading even though I needed to go. What a beautiful testament you are to Gods love. So beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your pain, your struggles and your perseverance that only comes from our Lord and Savior Jesus. Thank you!
So proud of the man you are still becoming! There is a light that shines on you an you have been a huge impact on this campus Edward Waters University. Keep being different and working hard as you have always done. People are out here that appreciates the gifts and graces that you carry so effortlessly. So demure, so modesty so cutesy ❤️